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back

lhello im back here i kinda miss 2019 vibes but i know when i missed it i also do miss the depressive vibes that comes around it 2019 has been what a year the year i’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression a college dropout my first breakup loneliness poor environment and support system having no one most of the nights i was thinking of jumping off the building cant even concentrate in life or my study like a walking-zombie and living doesnt feel like living there were too much darkness through it but i kinda miss it sometimes and right now and with the longing feeling, comes along the depressive vibes i was also just a depressive girly during 2019 what a year it has been but it was also the year i met my man it was sweet and has bit of tanginess (mango-like) the meeting

me

 me, me oh me what do you really want actually what things that will make you satisfied eventually im tired of you serious serious what do you really want actually im tired of you and i had it enough

me now

 dear me you still don’t have a group of friends  maybe that thing is just not meant for you … yeah maybe you once have but you left them because you don’t like how they made you feel maybe it’s no need to explain i just write this to feel my void because i feel so empty now is it a boredom or you longing for something

me now

 hello me! i really want to write letters for the old me do you know that you’re sad again the overwhelmed feelings that comes from you don’t know where but don’t worry maybe it’s just a phase maybe you that are craving for a drama and conflict now, is just a phase this feeling is unexplainable it is sad, depressed? but it does feel gloomy don’t worry? idk

Sedih

 It is a semester break. 2 months. I have no one to go out with.

reassurance

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My man, he keeps giving me reassurance. Something that my anxiety constantly needs. My heart feels soothed after getting his constant reassurance for me. Thank you for loving me. I hope all my past pain does not remain in my heart and wash away the thought of him loving me. I want to be only surrounded by lots of love from him until I forget everything that makes my heart so heavy and bring me down. I hope the pain, the burden, and the heavy feeling in my heart will continue to disappear and I will never have to carry and bear it again. I love you so much. Thank you 😊

writing

I'm so happy!! Finally, I continue writing like my psychiatrist told me during my last appointment last year. So sad that I could not continue my psychiatrist appointment due to some reasons 😓 I just leave my mental health issues to Allah 😭 The first thing I write is about my man. He deserves the whole world. I hope I will keep writing and let out whatever is in my heart, hehe.